Possibilities

I’ve recently started a book called, “Komm, ich erzähl dir eine Geschichte“(Come, let me tell you a story) by Jorge Bucay (I technically got it a little while back, but my German was still too bad to really understand it, but now I can read it with a little bit of help from my dictionary) and it really got me thinking about the things that I limited myself to.

The book contains a series of short stories, and the first story, titled “Der Angekettete Elefant” (The Elephant in Chains) is about a psychiatrist telling his patient a story of when he was a little boy and loved the circus, especially the elephant. And in the story, the little boy wondered why the elephant doesn’t escape, because to the little boy, it is clear that the elephant is stronger than the stake that is holding it in place. Adults tell him it’s because the elephant is trained, but cannot answer his next question “if the elephant is trained, why chain him to a stake at all?” He found the answer to the question years later, and the answer is that the elephant had been chained to that stake since it was very little, and when it was little, it wasn’t strong enough to break free, and it tried and tried until it finally gave up. But when it grew up, it never went back to test its strength again.

The psychiatrist then related this story back to his patient, and told him that all of us are just like the elephant; we chain ourselves to countless stakes, “we live thinking "we can't", making mountains of things simply because once, a long time ago, when we were small, we tried to do something and couldn't. We do the same thing to ourselves that the elephant did, we etch into our minds this message: "I can't - I can't and I never will"”

“I can’t and I never will”

I’ve never really thought of myself as someone who has this message etched into my mind and I’ve never realist how subtle this message really is until I read this story and have been an exchange student for 4 months. As an exchange student, I have many opportunities to try things, old and new, simply because I’m in a different country and even the things I might have done before seem new because I’m experiencing them differently. And it really isn’t until I’ve branched out a little that I realized how much I limited myself to in the U.S., how many things I’ve told myself that I’m not going to try again because I didn’t like it or because I failed when I did it before, or because I simply thought it was impossible for me to enjoy it or succeed. I, like the elephant, have the thought “I can’t and I never will,” but unlike the elephant, I have the ability to change that thought into “I couldn’t, but I might.”

And I think everyone has this ability, so if you think that you will never be able to study abroad (or any other thing, but right here I'm trying to convince you to apply to the program if you want to, but simply think that you aren't able to) because your parents wouldn’t ever let you, or because of the cost of studying abroad or some other reasons. Think again. Or at the least, try, and if you’ve tried before, try again.  Applying to the CBYX program is a great way to leave the “I can’t and I never will” mindset into “I couldn’t (or haven’t), but I might.” It’s never too late to try (well, before the deadline anyways)  

For those that have already started their applications or submitted their applications, I wish you guys the best luck in getting them done and making finalist! Just keep in mind that if you do make finalist and come to Germany, you will having some of the best times of your life!

And for my other readers, I wish you guys the best luck in freeing yourselves from various other stakes that might be holding you guys back :)

Dec 1st

Sorry for not updating in a while, things came up and I never got to finish the post I was writing. Just a quick summary of things that happened, first, I went to Frankfurt and had Chipotle!! It was soo good, the best burrito I had in a while (I really miss queso though). Then, I changed host families. I have to be honest and say that my last host family just was not a good fit for me. There weren’t anything wrong with them or me, but there are billions of people on earth, of course we’re going to meet people that we don’t get along well with. It would be impossible to like everyone you meet. But I just want to impress that communication is super important, one of the reasons we didn’t work out is because when I try to communicate, they misunderstand, and they either don’t communicate with me or I don’t understand what they are trying to tell me (they would say it in a way that is not clear because they don’t want to hurt my feelings or sound critical).

But I have to say that I still learn a lot from them and am very grateful that they were willing to host me for the time that they did. And without them, I would never have met my host family now, so it really was a blessing in disguise. I ended up living with my local coordinator for almost two weeks before moving to my new host family, and I just want to say that having a great local coordinator makes life so much easier. So for future participants, I would recommend that you establish good communication with your local coordinator as soon as you get to your host family.

Now that I’m at my new host family, I feel more at home in a week than I did at my last host family in two months. And even though I am learning much more German and enjoying myself more, I wouldn’t trade the time I spent with my old host family for anything, because it was that experience that made me a better person, and helps me better appreciate my new host family. This couple of months had been hard for me, but again, I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, because they made me a stronger, more appreciative, and open-minded person. My mom always used to tell me that we wouldn’t be able to really appreciate the good things in life without the hard things that help us grow, and that’s why we have stumbling blocks that slows us down so we can really look around and be grateful for what we have, and not always focus on what we want or are missing.

I’m only 4 months into this exchange year and I’ve already learned so much and met so many wonderful people. I cannot imagine what else I could learn and how many other people I can meet because the possibilities are limitless. And that’s why, if you’re hesitating about whether or not to apply to the CBYX program, I would tell you straight up that you’re missing a once-in-a-life-time opportunity if you don’t even apply. You never know what life could bring. I didn’t know that I would be in Germany and having the time of my life now at this exact time last year, but I had hope then that I would be, so I took the time to apply to the CBYX program, and I have not yet regretted where I ended up being. So act now!